Goals for Next Year -- Self-improvement

Punaluʻu Beach, Island of Hawai'i

Aloha!  

Writing from the Hawaiian Islands on a holiday family vacation with my parents and sister.  I am hoping to get back into writing more to help collect my thoughts and keep me accountable on the topics of this post.  I was lying in my bed last night bored browsing multiple dating apps and talking to random guys either visiting the island or locals.  Most of them looking for a quick hook-up, which got old fast.  I thought about how I could get past this trend of using these apps to attempt to find a boyfriend when they result in pointless conversations, photo trades, and the occasional meaningless hookup.  With a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts, I began thinking about the new year and making some new year's resolutions.  My challenge is the same as so many.  Resolutions stay strong for a week or two before they tend to fall off.  It has been years since I have looked at my old posts but I bet there are plenty of posts of failed new years resolutions you can find.  After some thought, I have decided to set a few realistic goals that I can work on for 2024.  I hope that these goals will help me be healthier, more presentable, and hopefully help me find a boyfriend or girlfriend.  I believe if I have a goal-oriented focus with a method to track and hold myself accountable, I will be more successful in meeting these goals.  Here are the goals I have developed that I would like to work on for 2024.

1. Walk for at least 60 minutes 3 times a week.

I am overweight and it shows.  It has gotten to a point where I rarely take photos of myself or ask others to take photos of me because of how fat I look.  A few of my favorite shirts are now too tight to fit and I really don't want to upgrade to a size 2XL.  This is one of the biggest situations that will impact my self-esteem (especially when using dating sites - the lgbt community is brutally harsh when it comes to body positivity).  I would like to get back to the weight I was when I was a Ranger at Bluff Lake Reserve in 2015.  I spent my 5-day shifts patroling the trail from open to close resulting in walking an average of 5 to 10 miles a day.  Since then my job shifted to office work where I sit in front of a computer for 40 hours a week.  My 4-H responsibilities were heavy where I would go home and do more work at a desk into the evening.  Adding a masters degree program and the Coronavirus Pandemic did not help my case.  

Instead of placing a board goal to lose weight, I have decided to formulate a few goals that will result in weight loss.  Getting to a weekly routine of walking will have many benefits for my physical and mental health.  I have had periods where I would be great at walking but it would last a month or so before other items come up and I stop altogether.  This year, I need to figure out a way to keep myself accountable and on a consistent track record.  I set up this goal to give a bare minimum for those weeks that are more challenging to walk than others.  Going all in at once is probably a contributing reason for the lack of longevity in walking attempts.  

2. Limit consuming added sugars and keep sugar serving sizes to 5 grams or less.

Let's face it.  Added sugars in our food are a terrible ingredient that is one of the primary causes of the overweight epidemic happening in the U.S.  I experienced the impacts to added sugars when I was younger.  I drank a lot of soda from middle school through college.  In 2010, while on a Southwest flight from Sacramento to Ontario (coming home from a 4-H winter retreat in Tahoe), I decided to have a new years resolution to give up sodas.  On that flight, I had a Canada Dry.  That was the last soda I have ever drank (with the exception of one or two Jack Cokes handed to me at the River by friends with a mission to get me drunk).  At the time I was about 285 pounds.  Simply removing soda from my diet resulted in me losing 40 pounds.  It is time for me to overhaul my sugar intake. 

Over the summer, I watched health videos from Doctors on Youtube.  Although you need to be careful with the information online, there was one doctor who recommended to make sure you keep the amount of sugar in your foods to 5 grams or less per serving.  I have made small efforts to make healthier decisions but not in a consistent manner.  My plan is to continue that along with stopping to eat candy (our office has it all over the place thanks to co-workers) and to reduce what I consume with added sugars.  This shift along with successfully keeping up with my walking endeavors should help me slowly, but steadily lose weight and be healthier.  

3. Drink more water.

This goal is really common and self-explanatory.  I have come into the habit of buying and drinking more sparkling/carbonated flavored water than drinking regular water.  When I do drink water, I use that concentrated flavoring liquid to my water.  During the work week, there are days where I drink multiple cups of coffee.  Yes, there are days where my ADHD just pushes me to have more coffee but I need to focus on reducing my coffee intake and drinking more regular water.  

4. Declutter the apartment and garage

I live in a small studio apartment above a garage on Oak Glen Preserve.  It has been 6 years since I moved out of my parent's house into the apartment.  Live has a habit of causing stuff to accumulate over time.  The garage (which is shared with a Ranger who lives in a house next door) has a large pile of items in the center of the building.  Much include items I simply don't need.  Upstairs in my residence, I have a few junk draws and a build in storage cabinet that is unorganized and becoming a dumping ground for items.  My goal is to go through my apartment and garage and get rid of items I simply don't need or use.  This will probably be the easiest goal to accomplish for the year.  I want to get in the habit of doing this every so often to avoid a situation like the very sad, depressing, and unhealthy mess that is my parents house (that is another story for another time).  

5. Less masturbation and porn.

Masturbation is known to be a healthy behavior (especially in men) that comes with multiple benefits.  Just like anything, things should be in moderation or you find yourself causing more harm than good.  I have been single now for 11 years (fuck that is a long time), had a casual fuck buddy with a guy named Michael three years later (found out he was married so I ended that), and a few casual hookups a year ever since.  I spend a decent amount of time in the mornings and/or evenings masturbating and browsing porn on X (aka Twitter).  It has become such a habit for me to self-pleasure 3 - 4+ times a day.  Not only does this take up time that I could use for other activities, but I notice that my constant play results in a constantly sore foreskin, reduced volume of semen, and experiencing less satisfying, pleasurable orgasms.  In addition, I am finding myself being more glued to X/twitter on an alt account endlessly scrolling at porn material.  From online content based on scientific research (mostly ASAP Science), I know that porn can change several mental things.  I fear I am headed down a path towards addiction if this trend continues.  

I believe this one will be a tough one to get past.  There is going to need to be a system and method for helping me reduce this activity.  Since this is a sensitive topic for many, I need to figure out a way to keep the tracking more discreet.  For my tracking, I am going to label this goal as LFAPP.  

6. Dress better

Since I began working for a nonprofit conservation organization, my clothing style has changed to match the clothing I need to wear for work.  It semi-shifted again when I moved into an office.  My attire now consists mostly of cargo pants or shorts and polo shirts (or old t-shirts).  In the fall, I cleared out my closet including getting rid of a great deal of clothing that needed to be removed long ago.  Two weeks before coming out to Hawaii, I purchased a few new, nice pairs of pants and a nice button-down shirt that can be worn at work or when I go out (bought them to look nice for a New Year's Eve event at Turtle Bay).  I need to present myself better to look clean and sharp.  In addition, I need to be better about hygiene practices.  Since COVID, I have had the habit of letting my hair grow out for months before getting haircuts and not styling it to look nice.  I need to get haircuts more often and consider better styling.  Another habit is not shaving to keep a clean-shaven look.  This needs to change.  With these steps, I will look more confident, and clean, and that I care.  This will help my image at work and personally.  

7. Develop a morning routine

This is a goal I had attempted to work on back in the spring.  I didn't hold myself accountable and went right back to my typical trend.  Currently, I wake up (with or without an alarm) around 6 to 6:30 am.  I typically stay in bed to masturbate to porn a few times, clean up, use the restroom, and go back to bed to lay there and browse social media until I need to get up and head to work.  I typically only give me 10 to 15 minutes to get ready.  I have fallen into a situation where I keep frozen breakfast sandwiches that I take to work to eat because I do not have time to eat when I get moving.  Developing a morning routine will not only help me with being able to enjoy a healthier breakfast, and have a more relaxed, unrushed morning, but it will help me keep to my other goals of the year (especially goals 5 and 6).  

The Process

I have not figured out everything on how to keep track of these goals and hold myself accountable.  Measurables will need to be developed for each one.  I have found Clever Fox Planner PRO – Weekly & Monthly Life Planner that might be a good tool to write everything out.  I will definitely need some daily and weekly checklists that I can use down the road.  My sister is also blessed with ADHD and she has struggled with morning routines and goals.  She makes page-sized reminders and checklists that helps her make sure certain things get accomplished.  I plan to follow her lead to see if this will help.  I hope to write quarter updates on my blog so I can track and evaluate my process and progress.  There are probably more I will need to work on, but I will discover it along the way.  

In closing, I believe these seven goals to work on for 2024 are strong goals that I have not developed in the past.  We will see how successful I am.  Wish me good luck!