Coming Out

Growing up was not always easy for me.  Throughout my childhood, I experienced multiple periods of bullying by different individuals.  These periods of time imprinted emotional scars that continue to influence my actions today.  Overcoming these scars have proved to be one of the most challenging personal battles I have ever faced.  My experiences with bullying peaked in late middle school to early high school; a time when many are discovering more of who they are.  To avoid providing more fuel to the fire, I tucked away certain thoughts, feelings, actions, and more deep inside.  Parts of who I am turned into a secret, in which was kept hidden from everyone (except for one person).  Words can never express the amount of emotional stress that followed to keeping a secret like this.  I went through many episodes of confusion, anger, sadness, loneliness, and hopelessness.  These episodes lasted all the way to college.  For help, I turned to the internet.  I began meeting people who were experiencing (or have experienced) a situation like mine.  Over the years, I was able to use these individuals to come to terms with what I had tucked away so long ago.  With the internet as a great resource, I came to understand who I am in full.  

Personal acceptance was only half the battle.  The next would be to fight my imprinted emotional scars, mostly fear, to break down the wall that has stood for the past 15 years to protect me from emotional and possible physical harm.  I have found that these scars will always be with me, and will hold control on a few of my actions (especially around others).  For the past 4 years, I have been working to bring this part of me out from the depths and into the light.  Last year, I worked for 5 months in a remote location in the San Bernardino Mountains.  During this time of isolation from my normal world, I was able to come to terms of who I was and to feel more comfortable about expressing who I was.  This day, last year, I was going to break down the wall.  In the end, fear had won.  A year has passed and I am ready to finally reveal a part of who I am to the world.  I am scared.  I am shaking like crazy while typing this.  I am trying so hard to keep my tears from showing.  In the end, I don’t really care anymore.  The only way I can be free is to be true to myself, and not worry about how others see me.  This is only a very very small part of who I am as a person.  Why should I even stress about it?  So here it goes.  It's time for me to demolish this old wall built so long ago.  

I am bisexual.

Before you all begin flooding me with questions, I ask that you do your research to get a true grasp on what bisexuallity really is.  There are many different society views that are not true at all.  The unique thing is that every bisexual person is different.  I will spare the details here, but please feel free to send me questions in a message.  I will answer them.  Answering them in a message is prefered, as I am currently extremely busy and running all over the place.  Below are two resources that can help spark your minds towards what real bisexuallity is, and not what society leads you to believe.

Human Rights Campaign: http://www.hrc.org/explore/topic/bisexual

6 Truths of Bisexuality: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/isaac-archuleta/6-truths-of-bisexuality_b_8373096.html