Reflections of 2014
2014 is coming to an end. For the most part, it was a good year, but it had its challenges. Many aspects of 2014 were the same as always: Still in college, still living at home, still single, and same 4-H duties as the past few years. What made 2014 special were new and unique experiences that I shall never forget. It started with attending the 4-H Camping Conference in the Santa Cruz Mountains, where I got to spend a weekend at a camp in the Redwood Forests discussing 4-H camps in California. Speaking of camp, I was able to return as an Adult Director this past summer. Had it miss camp in 2013. That week reminded me how much of a family 4-H is to me, and how many people truly appreciate my work within the program. For that week, I considered myself to be home. The very best adventure of the year was the trip to Alaska. I got to explore the last frontier from the coast to the Arctic Circle, with the generosity of my parents. It is an experience I shall never forget, and will remember for the rest of my life.
By the time 2014 had arrived, I was 100% dependent on financial aid grants and the support of my parents. I had been unemployed for close to three years. My degree has taken longer than I had expected. If class availability was great, I would have ended this year with a graduation. Sadly, that has been postponed until June, 2015. Not enough classes were being offered for me to be a full time student. I was forced to take classes I did not need to graduate in order to keep my financial aid. During the summer, I had decided to begin looking for a job. If I was successful, I would go to school only part time. It took a few months of looking and frustration at the availability of work I would be qualified for. I was going to give up, and get a holiday seasonal job in the apple growing community of Oak Glen. As I thought of Oak Glen, I thought of The Wildlands Conservancy. I saw a full time position open. I applied. I had an interview. I was not offered the full time position, but I was offered the position of Naturalist, which is a part time position that would end in June. I started in August, and it has been an amazing job. Hiking, teaching, helping keep the preserve in Oak Glen nice. A starting point which will hopefully get me into the career of environmental conservation. I work with amazing people, some who will become good friends.
At times, I have been through some person emotional periods during the year. Most due to being stuck in the same place I have been for quite a few years: in college, my future in a pause, and the feeling of being alone due to the lack of companionship. There are a few others, but those are topics I rather keep personal. The hardest hit for this year is the challenge of friendship. I have one best friend who I consider more like a brother. He has helped shape me to the person I am today, and he has supported me through tough times. Many of his impacts on my life remain unknown to him. Scotty began dating a person we went to high school with. This person put blame on myself and another best friend, Jane, that she was miserable in her college years. Sadly, her claims are extremely skewed to make her look like the victim, when in reality, she was never a good person/friend to me or Jane. We both gave her a good amount of chances, but in the end, she was not a person we wanted in her life. We just left her behind as we moved forward. Nothing bad. Because of this, as she began dating Scotty, she used her power of manipulation to pull him into her false views of who myself and Jane are. Instead of stepping back, and truly evaluating the situation, he went with her side. Mainly because he is desperate, lonely, and wants someone that loves him. In the beginning of the year, things still were normal. As time moved forward, his energy and dedication to hanging out with us began to fade. He would be glued to his phone constantly. Not putting in a care towards our company. In April, we did a last minute camping trip, and took him with us. He wasn't fully there with us during that trip. Often time on his phone, or stating that he had to go home to work on things (when in reality, we just got to his house and played games until late). After that trip, He and I would rarely hang out. I wouldn't be invited to his house. We wouldn't go do awesome adventures. He wouldn't even truly talk to me unless he saw a job post that may work for me. His birthday was in June. He had a party at his house. The big sign that things were changing was that both Jane and I rarely saw him. His girlfriend, Noelle, would be with him, and seemed to keep him a distance away. It was the first time in ten years, were I was ignored by him at his house. It was evident that I may be losing my best friend. After that birthday, I only had seen him three times for the year. The day I came home from Summer Camp, his brother's Halloween party, and one night in between when we just chilled, had some beers, and talked about past and future ideas (like the good times). My words may not be able to explain the emotional roller coaster this has brought onto me. In short, I have had a few days were I would spend the entire day in my room, and would have a few times where I would be in bed crying. Not all about this situation, but it sure was a big trigger. The last time I saw him was in October, at his brothers halloween party. Noelle was there. She chilled with me and Jane the entire time; until he arrived (which was late because he had to work). Once he arrived, I was able to say hello and that was it. He went off to say hi to others (understandable). Then we noticed he and Noelle were off in a room with just a few others for awhile. No effort made to even come back to see how his best friends were doing. We had to leave, and he acted shocked. Since he began dating Noelle, things have changed. Nothing has changed with me on my end. She has manipulated him to believe that his best friends were the enemy. I consider him my brother, and he has been a very major and important part of my life this past decade. It hurts extremely to lose him as a friend because of lies. Sadly, I can't even get to him to talk about it. I used to see and hang with him at least once a week average (even when he has a busy schedule). The last sign was my birthday. He has always made an effort to see me on my birthday, and if I had nothing planned, we would make plans. He made sure someone cared enough to be their for my birthday. This year, nothing but a happy birthday text message. The hardest part of this year is that I believe I have officially lost my best friend/brother. He just threw away the past ten years like it was nothing. If there were issues, he wouldn't even be man enough to discuss it. Because this has been occurring all year, by now I have began to move forward. I want to be there for him, especially when he will need it. Now, he will have to prove that he truly cares about our friendship before I let him back in. Hopefully, in 2015, our friendship will renew. That will now be in his hands. (Sorry this was a little long. Got into a rant).
Other than the usual challenges I have been facing, and the realization I have lost a best friend; 2014 was a good year. It had a few amazing adventures and opportunities that are keeping me together. I feel that 2015 will be a bigger challenge. I will be leaving the state tech team, I will be graduating college in June, and I will be once again unemployed in June (unless there is a miracle and the conservancy wants to keep me on). The future is very unknown after I leave college. It scares me, but I know I will be successful.
By the time 2014 had arrived, I was 100% dependent on financial aid grants and the support of my parents. I had been unemployed for close to three years. My degree has taken longer than I had expected. If class availability was great, I would have ended this year with a graduation. Sadly, that has been postponed until June, 2015. Not enough classes were being offered for me to be a full time student. I was forced to take classes I did not need to graduate in order to keep my financial aid. During the summer, I had decided to begin looking for a job. If I was successful, I would go to school only part time. It took a few months of looking and frustration at the availability of work I would be qualified for. I was going to give up, and get a holiday seasonal job in the apple growing community of Oak Glen. As I thought of Oak Glen, I thought of The Wildlands Conservancy. I saw a full time position open. I applied. I had an interview. I was not offered the full time position, but I was offered the position of Naturalist, which is a part time position that would end in June. I started in August, and it has been an amazing job. Hiking, teaching, helping keep the preserve in Oak Glen nice. A starting point which will hopefully get me into the career of environmental conservation. I work with amazing people, some who will become good friends.
At times, I have been through some person emotional periods during the year. Most due to being stuck in the same place I have been for quite a few years: in college, my future in a pause, and the feeling of being alone due to the lack of companionship. There are a few others, but those are topics I rather keep personal. The hardest hit for this year is the challenge of friendship. I have one best friend who I consider more like a brother. He has helped shape me to the person I am today, and he has supported me through tough times. Many of his impacts on my life remain unknown to him. Scotty began dating a person we went to high school with. This person put blame on myself and another best friend, Jane, that she was miserable in her college years. Sadly, her claims are extremely skewed to make her look like the victim, when in reality, she was never a good person/friend to me or Jane. We both gave her a good amount of chances, but in the end, she was not a person we wanted in her life. We just left her behind as we moved forward. Nothing bad. Because of this, as she began dating Scotty, she used her power of manipulation to pull him into her false views of who myself and Jane are. Instead of stepping back, and truly evaluating the situation, he went with her side. Mainly because he is desperate, lonely, and wants someone that loves him. In the beginning of the year, things still were normal. As time moved forward, his energy and dedication to hanging out with us began to fade. He would be glued to his phone constantly. Not putting in a care towards our company. In April, we did a last minute camping trip, and took him with us. He wasn't fully there with us during that trip. Often time on his phone, or stating that he had to go home to work on things (when in reality, we just got to his house and played games until late). After that trip, He and I would rarely hang out. I wouldn't be invited to his house. We wouldn't go do awesome adventures. He wouldn't even truly talk to me unless he saw a job post that may work for me. His birthday was in June. He had a party at his house. The big sign that things were changing was that both Jane and I rarely saw him. His girlfriend, Noelle, would be with him, and seemed to keep him a distance away. It was the first time in ten years, were I was ignored by him at his house. It was evident that I may be losing my best friend. After that birthday, I only had seen him three times for the year. The day I came home from Summer Camp, his brother's Halloween party, and one night in between when we just chilled, had some beers, and talked about past and future ideas (like the good times). My words may not be able to explain the emotional roller coaster this has brought onto me. In short, I have had a few days were I would spend the entire day in my room, and would have a few times where I would be in bed crying. Not all about this situation, but it sure was a big trigger. The last time I saw him was in October, at his brothers halloween party. Noelle was there. She chilled with me and Jane the entire time; until he arrived (which was late because he had to work). Once he arrived, I was able to say hello and that was it. He went off to say hi to others (understandable). Then we noticed he and Noelle were off in a room with just a few others for awhile. No effort made to even come back to see how his best friends were doing. We had to leave, and he acted shocked. Since he began dating Noelle, things have changed. Nothing has changed with me on my end. She has manipulated him to believe that his best friends were the enemy. I consider him my brother, and he has been a very major and important part of my life this past decade. It hurts extremely to lose him as a friend because of lies. Sadly, I can't even get to him to talk about it. I used to see and hang with him at least once a week average (even when he has a busy schedule). The last sign was my birthday. He has always made an effort to see me on my birthday, and if I had nothing planned, we would make plans. He made sure someone cared enough to be their for my birthday. This year, nothing but a happy birthday text message. The hardest part of this year is that I believe I have officially lost my best friend/brother. He just threw away the past ten years like it was nothing. If there were issues, he wouldn't even be man enough to discuss it. Because this has been occurring all year, by now I have began to move forward. I want to be there for him, especially when he will need it. Now, he will have to prove that he truly cares about our friendship before I let him back in. Hopefully, in 2015, our friendship will renew. That will now be in his hands. (Sorry this was a little long. Got into a rant).
Other than the usual challenges I have been facing, and the realization I have lost a best friend; 2014 was a good year. It had a few amazing adventures and opportunities that are keeping me together. I feel that 2015 will be a bigger challenge. I will be leaving the state tech team, I will be graduating college in June, and I will be once again unemployed in June (unless there is a miracle and the conservancy wants to keep me on). The future is very unknown after I leave college. It scares me, but I know I will be successful.
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