Living at the Farm: A Chance to be Alone
For the past ten days, I have been living at my aunt's farm in Yucaipa. Watching over it while my aunt and uncle visit my cousin Amanda in Washington. For the most part, I enjoy being here. It gets me to break away from living under my parents roof. It gives me a small taste of how it would be to live on my own. It serves as a form of reflection. To give a different glimps of who I am, and what parts of me need to change.
There seem to be many pros to living on my own. The main pro si that I am in charge. There is noone here to tell me what to do (except for when my aunt calls to tell me something I need to do). What I do falls into my hands. When I eat. When I clean. When I do homework. Its quite. There is no constent bitching from my parents (mostly my dad). I don't have to worry about doing certain things in specific ways. I can be myself. I don't have to wear clothes if I don't feel like it. I can play any music at any volume. The TV is always mine. Life is good. Of course, living alone comes with more responsibility. One observation I notice is how I handle taking care of the place. I am more clean. I do my dishes. I clean the kitchen. I put things away, and I keep things organized. Things I do not do often at home. Why is that? Is it because this isn't my house? Is it because when I don't have people pushing me to do these things, I actually do it? Not sure. Maybe because I have to clean quite a bit at work, I have been trained to clean more. I enjoy the quiet. I enjoy the freedom. There are times I expected to be bored. Of course, who doesn't get bored from time to time. Since I have been working, have a lot of school work to do, and 4-H work, I have been keeping busy enough to not be bored all the time. Another great pro is that I am able to have friends over. I don't have my parents being weird and don't have to worry about letting people into a terrible house filled with crap, and places that haven't been clean is over a decade. My friends and I can do what we want, as long as it is respecting the house. This time around, just Jane came for a visit. We cooked nachos, watched a movie, and played video games. Not having to worry about the parents being here is great. For the most part, living alone is great! But, there are pros and cons to everything.
There are a few things that I am not too fond of with living alone. Buying food is important. Duh! We need it to live. Buying my own food isn't a full con. The part I don't always realize is how much food costs. It is amazing! I start to think about people who don't have jobs or make minimum wage. How do people afford to pay rent, bills, and be able to afford food? I know food didn't used to cost as much as it does now. It is amazing. I know for the 11 days of be living here, I spent around $150 in food. Yikes! If I was living on my own to where I was paying $400-500 a month in rent, and probably needing $200 + for food for an entire month, there goes most of my montly pay. I will have only about $300 left to cover gas and other expenses. That is if I have enough hours. This month's pay wouldn't even cover rent expenses. Just on that reality, it makes me worried about the future. What is going to happen after I graduate? The answer I expect is that I will move out, and get on with my life. Will that happen? Not sure I will be able to find a job for a while to help support me enough. It is a scary thing. Sadly, only time will give me the answer to what the future holds after I graduate school this June. Other than the costs of food, there is one other major con to living alone. Always being alone. There are many things that is nice about being alone, but there are times that being alone sucks. I don't have someone to hang out with when I am bored. Someone to talk to. Someone to cook with. Someone to do nice things for. Having a roommate would be great! As long as they respect a few things. I do say, if I was in a relationship, that would be even better. I would be living with someone I share a very deep connection with. The times that I feel the most alone here is at night, when everything has been done and I am just sitting here. All I have is a tv, an xbox, and the internet. Those things are good from time to time, but not the same as interacting with another person. It would be nice to have a relationship with someone. Of course, in reality, do I have the time for a relationship right now? Not sure. Have a lot on my plate. I have tried online dating. Talked to a few girls, but things just wouldn't work out. Also met many great girls through school and work. Downside is, they are all taken. I just keep moving on. Hopefully someone will finally see me in a way to where they would want to be with me. Sadly, I don't have very high expectations of that happening anytime soon. The world seems to be getting smaller and less chances of things like that happening. Anyway...
For the most part, living alone here is great. It makes me feel more independant. It is giving me a time to reflect on who I am, and where my life is headed. There is many unknown things about the future. It is a little scary. I just got to have faith that things will work out as they always do. Even though I am living here at the farm, alone, and enjoying it; it isn't technically home. Right now, my home is where it always has been. With my parents. I can't wait to get home for my own bed, all my own stuff, and I do miss my cat Radar. The downside is I will not be alone. I am not proud to be 26 and living with my parents. I am not sure it is completely my fault. Being in school forever is. I see many people that move out of their parents forced to move back in later on. It is a tough world out there right now. Jobs are minimum. Good paying jobs are rare. Even with a college degree. Those making enough money to survive are those high up in the ranks. For us starting out, there isn't enough opproutunity to even make enough to live on our own. I hope that changes. Something needs to change. Yes, I need to change, but so does the world.
There seem to be many pros to living on my own. The main pro si that I am in charge. There is noone here to tell me what to do (except for when my aunt calls to tell me something I need to do). What I do falls into my hands. When I eat. When I clean. When I do homework. Its quite. There is no constent bitching from my parents (mostly my dad). I don't have to worry about doing certain things in specific ways. I can be myself. I don't have to wear clothes if I don't feel like it. I can play any music at any volume. The TV is always mine. Life is good. Of course, living alone comes with more responsibility. One observation I notice is how I handle taking care of the place. I am more clean. I do my dishes. I clean the kitchen. I put things away, and I keep things organized. Things I do not do often at home. Why is that? Is it because this isn't my house? Is it because when I don't have people pushing me to do these things, I actually do it? Not sure. Maybe because I have to clean quite a bit at work, I have been trained to clean more. I enjoy the quiet. I enjoy the freedom. There are times I expected to be bored. Of course, who doesn't get bored from time to time. Since I have been working, have a lot of school work to do, and 4-H work, I have been keeping busy enough to not be bored all the time. Another great pro is that I am able to have friends over. I don't have my parents being weird and don't have to worry about letting people into a terrible house filled with crap, and places that haven't been clean is over a decade. My friends and I can do what we want, as long as it is respecting the house. This time around, just Jane came for a visit. We cooked nachos, watched a movie, and played video games. Not having to worry about the parents being here is great. For the most part, living alone is great! But, there are pros and cons to everything.
There are a few things that I am not too fond of with living alone. Buying food is important. Duh! We need it to live. Buying my own food isn't a full con. The part I don't always realize is how much food costs. It is amazing! I start to think about people who don't have jobs or make minimum wage. How do people afford to pay rent, bills, and be able to afford food? I know food didn't used to cost as much as it does now. It is amazing. I know for the 11 days of be living here, I spent around $150 in food. Yikes! If I was living on my own to where I was paying $400-500 a month in rent, and probably needing $200 + for food for an entire month, there goes most of my montly pay. I will have only about $300 left to cover gas and other expenses. That is if I have enough hours. This month's pay wouldn't even cover rent expenses. Just on that reality, it makes me worried about the future. What is going to happen after I graduate? The answer I expect is that I will move out, and get on with my life. Will that happen? Not sure I will be able to find a job for a while to help support me enough. It is a scary thing. Sadly, only time will give me the answer to what the future holds after I graduate school this June. Other than the costs of food, there is one other major con to living alone. Always being alone. There are many things that is nice about being alone, but there are times that being alone sucks. I don't have someone to hang out with when I am bored. Someone to talk to. Someone to cook with. Someone to do nice things for. Having a roommate would be great! As long as they respect a few things. I do say, if I was in a relationship, that would be even better. I would be living with someone I share a very deep connection with. The times that I feel the most alone here is at night, when everything has been done and I am just sitting here. All I have is a tv, an xbox, and the internet. Those things are good from time to time, but not the same as interacting with another person. It would be nice to have a relationship with someone. Of course, in reality, do I have the time for a relationship right now? Not sure. Have a lot on my plate. I have tried online dating. Talked to a few girls, but things just wouldn't work out. Also met many great girls through school and work. Downside is, they are all taken. I just keep moving on. Hopefully someone will finally see me in a way to where they would want to be with me. Sadly, I don't have very high expectations of that happening anytime soon. The world seems to be getting smaller and less chances of things like that happening. Anyway...
For the most part, living alone here is great. It makes me feel more independant. It is giving me a time to reflect on who I am, and where my life is headed. There is many unknown things about the future. It is a little scary. I just got to have faith that things will work out as they always do. Even though I am living here at the farm, alone, and enjoying it; it isn't technically home. Right now, my home is where it always has been. With my parents. I can't wait to get home for my own bed, all my own stuff, and I do miss my cat Radar. The downside is I will not be alone. I am not proud to be 26 and living with my parents. I am not sure it is completely my fault. Being in school forever is. I see many people that move out of their parents forced to move back in later on. It is a tough world out there right now. Jobs are minimum. Good paying jobs are rare. Even with a college degree. Those making enough money to survive are those high up in the ranks. For us starting out, there isn't enough opproutunity to even make enough to live on our own. I hope that changes. Something needs to change. Yes, I need to change, but so does the world.
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