The Chronicles of John Trammell

     2014 came in a way that no other year has come.  It began with good times, and was followed with suffering.  Scotty invited me to his house on New Years Eve for combo party.  A birthday party for one of this brother's girl friends and a New Years party.  Of course I was going to go.  Most New Years, I send to sit alone in my dark room in front of the computer just waiting for the clock to hit midnight.  At midnight, I send a mass Happy New Years test, post on social media (facebook, twitter, google +), wish I had someone special for a New Years kiss (I am not that lucky :/ ), put my computer in sleep mode, then go to bed.  I was excited to be with friends for a change.           The party went well.  Mostly Scotty's family and friends, Jane and was there, and friends of the birthday girl.  Noelle was there as well.  I mention Noelle separately only to say that Scotty and Noelle have been the topic on the side conversations.  They seem to be getting a little close, and ev

     Why do I feel as if something is wrong with me?  Why do I feel my friends and their friends and their friends friends have moved forward and I am the awkward person who isn't apart of general crowd because I don't have the experience I have.  I am 26.  I am still a virgin.  And it is driving me crazy!  All my friends have had sex.  They have drama between friends and sex.  When hanging out, they can make sexual jokes, comments, eta and they give this type of impression that I would not fully understand what they mean.  When joking things seem all the same but I try to get into the conversations and they mostly act as if its disgusting.  Why?  Is it me?  Is because I a fat?  Is it because if they were not my friends, and just saw me as a random person they would never consider having sex with me?  That must be it.  Girls see me, they meet me, think I am a nice and awesome guy, but never would think of going anywhere but into a friend zone.  What else could it be other than