The Fall of a Friendship?
I am beginning to fear that I am losing one of my best friends and that I am powerless to stop it. Scotty began dating Noelle, a person we went to high school with. Jane and I were not quite happy of that news, for we knew it was an extremely high possibility that he began seeing her out of desperation. We believe he is settling. Even with that belief, I would give them a chance. The first time being with Scotty and Noelle after they got together did not go that well (as mentioned two blog posts ago). Things have seemed to get even more rocky since then. Scotty had a party for his 26th birthday last Saturday. This would be the second time that I would be around him and her. As I arrived, she was already there. Things seemed to be better than the last party. It was more relaxing, and Noelle was behaving herself. As things began to get going, I never really got to hang out with Scotty. He was busy drinking, hanging out with others, and being around Noelle. Especially after Jane showed up to the party. I had began a pool table game with Scotty, his dad, and his grandpa when I got a call from Jane. She wanted to see me before she walked in. I went outside and had learned that her brother had attacked her the night before. I won't go into details, but I will say it was extremely bad. After the talk, we both went back into the house, and for the rest of the night, I really didn't see much of Scotty. I chilled with Jane and a few of his family members while he was off doing whatever else he wanted. By the end of the party, we all passed out.
The next day, his friends woke up and left. For the rest of the morning and early afternoon, it would be his step brother Scott, Scotty, Noelle, and I at the house. Scotty and Noelle did wake up, but they kept inside his room for the majority of the time I was there. Near the end, while at his kitchen table, we all chilled before they took turns taking showers. While Scotty and Scott were off getting ready, Noelle had confronted me, while I was vulnerable, exhausted and weak from staying up all night. It would be the main sign that things are possibly never going to be the same. She flat out said to my face that she does not like Jane and myself. During her times living in Riverside after high school, she said she developed an insecurity because she was not included in any of Scotty, Jane, and I's fun adventures. She would get upset that we would give an excuse that Riverside was too far to drive over to hang out. It made her feel like she was not cool enough to be apart of our "elite group". Seeing all of our photographs and status updates on social media (mainly facebook) of us doing things from going to the beach, to going to our Monterey Bay trip in the late 2000's, to the most recent Pismo Beach camping trip created this insecurity. She has put the full blame of this insecurity on Jane and I, more so on Jane. She believes that we posted these photographs and status updates to taunt her. To prove she does not belong with us, and to show her how much fun we are having without her. Everything we posted of the three of us in the past 8 years, in her mind, was put there to show we were better than she was. Because of this, she has demanded that Scotty is not allowed to tell her when he is hanging out with us. She has also demanded that he is not allowed to have him tagged in any more photographs or status updates on social media because of this insecurity. She went on from that to say that she pushed this issue with him quite a bit, and she said she is pushing him to speak what he thinks. She claims that he has told her that we never were open to hanging out with anyone else. It must be only the three best friends and no one else. After that, she also claimed that Jane pushed Scotty into a relationship with Jane because she was drunk one night and got frisky. During all of Noelle's inaccurate claims, I barely looked at her. Emotions flowed through me. My hands began shaking violently. For the first time in my life, I felt extreme hatred towards a person. I wanted to just verbally abuse Noelle, then grab her by the neck, and push her violently against the kitchen wall while continuing to give her the truth. After that rush of anger came tears to my eyes, as I have realized that Noelle was manipulating the facts to turn Scotty away from Jane and I. She is making Jane and I look as enemies. During this rush of anger and sadness, she may have said a few other things but I was done listening to her. She left that table thinking she put me in my place. Thinking that she had won, and that she is right. After that, I packed up, and left. I said bye to Scotty, ignored Noelle, and left. Her version of her story is not exactly how things were. Here is Jane and my side...the side that is more truthful than hers.
Noelle was a fun person to hang with from time to time, but we never considered her a friend. I give everyone I meet a change towards being a friend, and I have tried multiple times with no success. I met Noelle in my Avid class in 10th grade, and we would hang out until we graduated. In that time, she met Scotty and she began hanging around our group of high school friends. She has a very loud personality. She also has a very upfront personality. Anytime that you would be talking, if there was anything that you said she believed to be wrong, she would not hold back. She will call you out on it, and not in a calm way. In more of a in your face, loud type of way. It would come across myself and others, like Jane, to be very rude and quite annoying. There would be times that she would not stop until she got her way, and that you would claim she was right. It was very aggressive. Friends help each other out when they can. Noelle moved a few times near the end of high school and into college. It was normally Scotty and I that would spend a few days out of our schedules to go out and help her and her mom move. I never got real good treatment during those moves. She would be yelling at you if you did something she didn't agree with, and demanded to do things her way. One time, her brother was helping to move. He just happened to like James Bond as I did. We would do Bond quotes and things, and Noelle would constantly yell at us to stop. Never a calm or polite asking or conversation. From that type of personality, I decided that Noelle was not going to be considered a friend because I felt that was no way to treat a person. It was not fun. Jane felt the same. She had claimed at that kitchen table we refused to go to Riverside. Jane and I had been a couple of times. It was alright, but she was still the same way she was in high school. She is a cool person to hang around, but not someone we would consider a friend. She never seemed to be fully appreciative of our kindness, and never contributed back. Friendship is a two way street. One time, she had worked in Forest Falls. I spent my entire day up there hanging out with her. That happened to be the day she crashed her car off the road. I was there for her, and took her home. She did appreciate it that night, but never really acknowledged it again. Another time, I got a call from her, and she was crying. Scotty was in boot camp, and he had left without permission. She was going to drive down to San Diego, and take him back home. I was really sure that was illegal. I left my job, and took her to San Diego to find Scotty. I had a different mission than her. My plan was to meet up with him, talk to him, give him some food, then take him back to boot camp. It was the right thing to do. Most of that day, Noelle was crying, and historical. At the end of the day, we learned he was caught and was back at the boot camp. Noelle never seemed to truly be grateful for what I did that day. Of course, I wasn't doing it for her. I was doing it for Scotty. She never seemed to contact us unless there was something she needed from us like helping her move. She rarely would contact us about hanging out.
All during that time, Scotty, Jane, myself, and others from high school and college would hang out all the time. We did many fun things from the beach to even a trip to Monterey and other camping trips. During those days, it was never just Scotty, Jane, and I. We had other friends that we hanged out with. Noelle's claim that we were an exclusive group of three and never let anyone else in is deeply false. As time went on, there was some drama with some friends, which ended friendships, and other friends went down different paths. It did soon become just Scotty, Jane, and I. It was not because we pushed others away, and it was not because we refused others to hang out with us. It was just because people took different paths. Over the past 8 years, Scotty, Jane, and I became very strong friends. We consider each other more family than friends. Never once, had Jane and I refused to hang out with anyone else. We were always open to hanging out with others, unless they were people that had caused much drama, and that we didn't consider them friends. Scotty never asked about hanging out with others. He had fun. We all had fun. We were amazing! We hiked, we drove, we swam, we had amazing adventures, and we all had the most amazing time. We would always have an amazing energy to plan our next adventures. With that, Noelle's claim that we treated the three of us as an exclusive group, is false. Yes, we posted many photographs and status updates on social media. It was not to brag to the world that we are special, and that no one is not cool enough to hang out with us. We posted those as records. Records to our amazing friendship, and a record of all of the places and things we have done, so we can look back and really say that we lived a good and happy life. From this information, of what is more the truth compared to Noelle's side, it has come clear that she has put her believes in his head. Because of their relationship, he believes that her side is the truth. He isn't thinking on his own accord of everything. His actions are now based off of her manipulated facts, and it is going to tear our friendship apart.
I had met with Jane the day after, and talked to her about it. Jane felt the same as I did. Jane also made clear that her claims of how Jane and Scotty began dating was far from the truth. Jane and I are now extremely upset. We are extremely disappointed in Scotty for letting this bitch Noelle control him the way that she is. She making Jane and myself look more as enemies towards Scotty. Things have not been the same since they have been together, and as I think about it, I can pin point them. Since they began to move towards dating, Scotty's energy towards Jane and I had changed. Every time we would hang out, he would be glued to his phone. We would only be half way interested in planning new adventures, and never seemed to excited to do anything with us. It was very clear at our Pismo Beach camping trip. The energy was not the same. He kept pushing that he wanted to be home early, and was not to interested in exploring and having fun.
I am extremely upset. Noelle confronting me has made it clear that I am most likely losing my best friend of 10 years. I didn't really have any friends at the beginning of high school. I was an outcast. I was bullied in middle school, and the little friends I had then were gone. Scotty and Jane would be the first to become friends with me in high school. They showed me that someone can care for me and appreciate my life and give me a chance to appreciate theirs. They showed me a new way of life. They had a big influence towards who I am today. We have been through a lot in the past 10 years. It is extremely shocking that Scotty's and my friendship would fall because of this bitch! I have done nothing wrong. I have always been there for Scotty, and I would do anything for him. I will support him with anything that he does...well, now except for this relationship with Noelle. I am deeply hurt. I am lost. I am not sure what to do. In all honesty, I feel as if I have already lost. That I have lost my best friend. That I will not have any amazing adventures with him again. That we will only hang out once in awhile when he has a party or is just bored and wants to hang out for a few hours. After 10 years, going to that hurts. I fully understand that there are somethings that can change with a relationship, but there has to be room for both friends and love life. I always believe that it should be bros before hoes. Before they began dating, Scotty, Jane, and I were working towards planning a three day backpacking trip to Havasu Falls in Arizona. I am now giving up on that. I do not feel that he truly cares to have an adventure like that anymore. I feel that I would have to do all the work, and he would not be that appreciative of it. I just brought up an idea of going to Laguna Seca racetrack with him in August. I am now hurt, and I am not going to follow through with it. If he truly cares, he will make the effort to keep things the way they are. If he truly cares, he would evaluate and realize the truth of our past, and realized that Noelle is the person who is to blame, and not Jane and I.
Scotty is by best friend. I consider him a brother. His family loves me, and many say I am one of their favorite of his best friends. I would do anything for him, and be there for him. Sadly, I now feel that he would no longer do the same. I am stepping back. I am giving him a test. A test that I hope he will pass. A test I fear he will fail. Does he feel the same for me? Would he be there for me at a time that I would deeply need him? Would he care enough to even ask me how things are? Only time will tell. If he doesn't, my heart will be hurt. He will lose one amazing and caring friend who has always given him support. And all because he let her bend the truth to make her look like the vitcum... I hope he passes the test. As all of my best friends, I love Scotty. My life would never be the same without his friendship.
As I posted on twitter later that night after Noelle's confrontation at that kitchen table: If you let a bitch manipulate you to make your best friends look like the enemy, it is time for her to go!
The next day, his friends woke up and left. For the rest of the morning and early afternoon, it would be his step brother Scott, Scotty, Noelle, and I at the house. Scotty and Noelle did wake up, but they kept inside his room for the majority of the time I was there. Near the end, while at his kitchen table, we all chilled before they took turns taking showers. While Scotty and Scott were off getting ready, Noelle had confronted me, while I was vulnerable, exhausted and weak from staying up all night. It would be the main sign that things are possibly never going to be the same. She flat out said to my face that she does not like Jane and myself. During her times living in Riverside after high school, she said she developed an insecurity because she was not included in any of Scotty, Jane, and I's fun adventures. She would get upset that we would give an excuse that Riverside was too far to drive over to hang out. It made her feel like she was not cool enough to be apart of our "elite group". Seeing all of our photographs and status updates on social media (mainly facebook) of us doing things from going to the beach, to going to our Monterey Bay trip in the late 2000's, to the most recent Pismo Beach camping trip created this insecurity. She has put the full blame of this insecurity on Jane and I, more so on Jane. She believes that we posted these photographs and status updates to taunt her. To prove she does not belong with us, and to show her how much fun we are having without her. Everything we posted of the three of us in the past 8 years, in her mind, was put there to show we were better than she was. Because of this, she has demanded that Scotty is not allowed to tell her when he is hanging out with us. She has also demanded that he is not allowed to have him tagged in any more photographs or status updates on social media because of this insecurity. She went on from that to say that she pushed this issue with him quite a bit, and she said she is pushing him to speak what he thinks. She claims that he has told her that we never were open to hanging out with anyone else. It must be only the three best friends and no one else. After that, she also claimed that Jane pushed Scotty into a relationship with Jane because she was drunk one night and got frisky. During all of Noelle's inaccurate claims, I barely looked at her. Emotions flowed through me. My hands began shaking violently. For the first time in my life, I felt extreme hatred towards a person. I wanted to just verbally abuse Noelle, then grab her by the neck, and push her violently against the kitchen wall while continuing to give her the truth. After that rush of anger came tears to my eyes, as I have realized that Noelle was manipulating the facts to turn Scotty away from Jane and I. She is making Jane and I look as enemies. During this rush of anger and sadness, she may have said a few other things but I was done listening to her. She left that table thinking she put me in my place. Thinking that she had won, and that she is right. After that, I packed up, and left. I said bye to Scotty, ignored Noelle, and left. Her version of her story is not exactly how things were. Here is Jane and my side...the side that is more truthful than hers.
Noelle was a fun person to hang with from time to time, but we never considered her a friend. I give everyone I meet a change towards being a friend, and I have tried multiple times with no success. I met Noelle in my Avid class in 10th grade, and we would hang out until we graduated. In that time, she met Scotty and she began hanging around our group of high school friends. She has a very loud personality. She also has a very upfront personality. Anytime that you would be talking, if there was anything that you said she believed to be wrong, she would not hold back. She will call you out on it, and not in a calm way. In more of a in your face, loud type of way. It would come across myself and others, like Jane, to be very rude and quite annoying. There would be times that she would not stop until she got her way, and that you would claim she was right. It was very aggressive. Friends help each other out when they can. Noelle moved a few times near the end of high school and into college. It was normally Scotty and I that would spend a few days out of our schedules to go out and help her and her mom move. I never got real good treatment during those moves. She would be yelling at you if you did something she didn't agree with, and demanded to do things her way. One time, her brother was helping to move. He just happened to like James Bond as I did. We would do Bond quotes and things, and Noelle would constantly yell at us to stop. Never a calm or polite asking or conversation. From that type of personality, I decided that Noelle was not going to be considered a friend because I felt that was no way to treat a person. It was not fun. Jane felt the same. She had claimed at that kitchen table we refused to go to Riverside. Jane and I had been a couple of times. It was alright, but she was still the same way she was in high school. She is a cool person to hang around, but not someone we would consider a friend. She never seemed to be fully appreciative of our kindness, and never contributed back. Friendship is a two way street. One time, she had worked in Forest Falls. I spent my entire day up there hanging out with her. That happened to be the day she crashed her car off the road. I was there for her, and took her home. She did appreciate it that night, but never really acknowledged it again. Another time, I got a call from her, and she was crying. Scotty was in boot camp, and he had left without permission. She was going to drive down to San Diego, and take him back home. I was really sure that was illegal. I left my job, and took her to San Diego to find Scotty. I had a different mission than her. My plan was to meet up with him, talk to him, give him some food, then take him back to boot camp. It was the right thing to do. Most of that day, Noelle was crying, and historical. At the end of the day, we learned he was caught and was back at the boot camp. Noelle never seemed to truly be grateful for what I did that day. Of course, I wasn't doing it for her. I was doing it for Scotty. She never seemed to contact us unless there was something she needed from us like helping her move. She rarely would contact us about hanging out.
All during that time, Scotty, Jane, myself, and others from high school and college would hang out all the time. We did many fun things from the beach to even a trip to Monterey and other camping trips. During those days, it was never just Scotty, Jane, and I. We had other friends that we hanged out with. Noelle's claim that we were an exclusive group of three and never let anyone else in is deeply false. As time went on, there was some drama with some friends, which ended friendships, and other friends went down different paths. It did soon become just Scotty, Jane, and I. It was not because we pushed others away, and it was not because we refused others to hang out with us. It was just because people took different paths. Over the past 8 years, Scotty, Jane, and I became very strong friends. We consider each other more family than friends. Never once, had Jane and I refused to hang out with anyone else. We were always open to hanging out with others, unless they were people that had caused much drama, and that we didn't consider them friends. Scotty never asked about hanging out with others. He had fun. We all had fun. We were amazing! We hiked, we drove, we swam, we had amazing adventures, and we all had the most amazing time. We would always have an amazing energy to plan our next adventures. With that, Noelle's claim that we treated the three of us as an exclusive group, is false. Yes, we posted many photographs and status updates on social media. It was not to brag to the world that we are special, and that no one is not cool enough to hang out with us. We posted those as records. Records to our amazing friendship, and a record of all of the places and things we have done, so we can look back and really say that we lived a good and happy life. From this information, of what is more the truth compared to Noelle's side, it has come clear that she has put her believes in his head. Because of their relationship, he believes that her side is the truth. He isn't thinking on his own accord of everything. His actions are now based off of her manipulated facts, and it is going to tear our friendship apart.
I had met with Jane the day after, and talked to her about it. Jane felt the same as I did. Jane also made clear that her claims of how Jane and Scotty began dating was far from the truth. Jane and I are now extremely upset. We are extremely disappointed in Scotty for letting this bitch Noelle control him the way that she is. She making Jane and myself look more as enemies towards Scotty. Things have not been the same since they have been together, and as I think about it, I can pin point them. Since they began to move towards dating, Scotty's energy towards Jane and I had changed. Every time we would hang out, he would be glued to his phone. We would only be half way interested in planning new adventures, and never seemed to excited to do anything with us. It was very clear at our Pismo Beach camping trip. The energy was not the same. He kept pushing that he wanted to be home early, and was not to interested in exploring and having fun.
I am extremely upset. Noelle confronting me has made it clear that I am most likely losing my best friend of 10 years. I didn't really have any friends at the beginning of high school. I was an outcast. I was bullied in middle school, and the little friends I had then were gone. Scotty and Jane would be the first to become friends with me in high school. They showed me that someone can care for me and appreciate my life and give me a chance to appreciate theirs. They showed me a new way of life. They had a big influence towards who I am today. We have been through a lot in the past 10 years. It is extremely shocking that Scotty's and my friendship would fall because of this bitch! I have done nothing wrong. I have always been there for Scotty, and I would do anything for him. I will support him with anything that he does...well, now except for this relationship with Noelle. I am deeply hurt. I am lost. I am not sure what to do. In all honesty, I feel as if I have already lost. That I have lost my best friend. That I will not have any amazing adventures with him again. That we will only hang out once in awhile when he has a party or is just bored and wants to hang out for a few hours. After 10 years, going to that hurts. I fully understand that there are somethings that can change with a relationship, but there has to be room for both friends and love life. I always believe that it should be bros before hoes. Before they began dating, Scotty, Jane, and I were working towards planning a three day backpacking trip to Havasu Falls in Arizona. I am now giving up on that. I do not feel that he truly cares to have an adventure like that anymore. I feel that I would have to do all the work, and he would not be that appreciative of it. I just brought up an idea of going to Laguna Seca racetrack with him in August. I am now hurt, and I am not going to follow through with it. If he truly cares, he will make the effort to keep things the way they are. If he truly cares, he would evaluate and realize the truth of our past, and realized that Noelle is the person who is to blame, and not Jane and I.
Scotty is by best friend. I consider him a brother. His family loves me, and many say I am one of their favorite of his best friends. I would do anything for him, and be there for him. Sadly, I now feel that he would no longer do the same. I am stepping back. I am giving him a test. A test that I hope he will pass. A test I fear he will fail. Does he feel the same for me? Would he be there for me at a time that I would deeply need him? Would he care enough to even ask me how things are? Only time will tell. If he doesn't, my heart will be hurt. He will lose one amazing and caring friend who has always given him support. And all because he let her bend the truth to make her look like the vitcum... I hope he passes the test. As all of my best friends, I love Scotty. My life would never be the same without his friendship.
As I posted on twitter later that night after Noelle's confrontation at that kitchen table: If you let a bitch manipulate you to make your best friends look like the enemy, it is time for her to go!
Never forget who your true friends are!
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