Once We Were The Three Best Friends
I know I haven't written a blog in a while, mainly because I have been super busy (Don't worry, I am working on writing one that will give you an update); but tonight I have somethings in my mind and I just need to let them out, so this is going to be somewhat of a rant blog.
For those who know me, and have followed the major details of my life, you will know that I have a handful of friends I consider my best friends, close enough to be family, and they are a major impact on my life, even if they don't realize it. Some live far away, and others live right here in the same city as me. Out of my handful of best friends, there were two of them that I consider the two most important people in my life. Jane and Scotty. We had become friends back in our sophomore year of high school, and in the past 5 years, our friendships have grown to a point to were it seems that nothing can split the three of us apart. We had been through a lot together, and that created an unbreakable bond between us. We considered ourselves the three best friends that anyone could ever have (Yes we got that from The Hangover part 1) We would hang out all the time, even if there was nothing to do. We would plan trips, go places together and have a great time. It seemed the world was perfect whenever the three of us was together, and that nothing could break the three of u apart. This summer, I had learned that you should cherish every moment you have with your friends, for things might not be the same in the future.
I believe it was January of this year (After our Amboy Adventure--see earlier posts), I had learned that Scotty and Jane had gotten into a relationship. There were a few feelings that might happen, but I truly had no warning to the news. As a good friend, I supported them, and in a way I was happy for them both. (Of course, I was a little upset with them that they didn't tell me in person, and that I learned through facebook that they were together.) I do admit it was awkward for awhile getting used to them being a couple, but after while, I got a hang of it. At the beginning, I was fearful that the three of us would be gone, and it would just be the two of them with me on the side, but later on it proved that mostly everything had stayed the same. The three of us wouldn't hang out as much, and the adventures seemed to slow down to a few. As time went on, drama in their relationship began to happen, and I would be in the middle of it. Now I expected that to happen, speaking from experience, and I was prepared for it. Most of everything that has been happening all the way up to the end of April I was prepared for.
For year's Scotty has told me about his families place at the Parker Strip of the Colorado River (aka the river) and his family had invited Jane and I to join them for Scotty's stepdad's, Ed, Bday party. We went at the end of April. We got there and things were very nice out there. I enjoyed being out in the desert, and a break from the normal way of life. I had brought a tent to the river, and originally I thought the three of us were going to share it. There has been a little bit of drama, so I decided to sleep outside under the stars while they had the tent. I didn't really have a problem with that, but it was just one of those things that popped up in my head to were I knew at times it would no longer be the three of us, and I would just be on the side. In the middle of the trip, I got emotional a little bit at night. I have to admit that I even cried myself to sleep one night. For those who know me, it takes a lot for me to even cry just a little. The last time i cried before this was the day Scotty left for boot camp back in Dec. of 2007. There were really two reasons why I had cried. The first, everyone my age at the river was with someone they cared for, you know, boy friend/girl friend. I was the only person there who didn't have anyone. Yes I did have a girl friend but she wasn't there. Normally that type of thing wouldn't have bugged me, because we were the three best friends, but it effected me a lot, because at night, it would be Jane and Scotty, while I just was alone outside with no one to talk to or chill with. In the end, I felt along every night while at the river, and there were a few times during the day too, but not much. Each night, I wouldn't be able to sleep. I would fall asleep as the sun was rising, and that would give me an hour or two before it got hot, and everyone else was awake. I have to say I had a good time at the river, but just what is above is what went down that had some effect on me. Also expressed to a few people of a insecurity I had about myself, which didn't help in my emotional state that one night, but that's another story.
Things seemed to go down hill from the river trip. Their relationship would continue to have more problems and I would be caught up in between. Mostly Jane would be over at my house talking to me every night while Scotty tended to keep things hidden inside him. Through this time I barely got to hang out with Scotty, and each time I was with Jane it was mainly issues. At this time, I worked my hardest to try to help improve things, so they can be more happy and things would get back to almost normal, but things never did. I was up in Davis, CA, for the 2011 State Field Day. I was in the hotel room on Sat. night with my gf Sarah, my dad, and sister, resting after a very long day running a photography contest, and making plans for a day trip to San Francisco (you will read in my next blog post soon) when I got I believe a text from Jane saying she was single. Then she called, and I spent 30 mins to an hour just on the line while Jane was crying and telling me what happened. I had to end the call because Sarah and I needed to go to bed, and we were tired from the long day. I knew from that point, that things would never be the same, and once again, couldn't sleep that night, not until I was so exhausted I passed out.
After I got home, I hung out with Jane, and expected it to be that way for while because she tends to get emotional after these things. One night, Scotty had asked if he can borrow my camera lens, he came over while Jane and I were hanging. He wanted to say hi to Jane, but I knew that wouldn't have been a good out come so I told him it wasn't a good idea. Since then, I have been stuck in the middle, and there is no more the three of us. I have to hang out with them separately. With it being the summer time, when im home from my travels, I really want to be with my friends and have our adventures of our own, but its not that easy any more since we arn't the three best friends that anyone could have. I have a camping trip coming up to the eastern Sierras, with my friend Emily, and I know thats a part of the state neither Scotty or Jane had really been too much. I really really badly want them to be there with me and Emily, but that isn't going to happen. I have offered Scotty the choice to go, which I hope he goes because I don't get to see him much anymore.
Two of the most important people of my life, were we used to do almost everything together for the past five years, are now split and not talking to each other, and I have to be one of the most effected people from the outcome of this, and now caught in between. I MISS the THREE OF US. Last summer was amazing, and we did so many awesome things, and I was hoping this summer would be just the same but it hasn't. I am hoping, that they will talk to each other again, and that things can hopefully come back to how it used to be, were we are the three best friends that anyone could have, but the way things are going, it looks like that day might not ever come, and all the great things we have ever done together will just me memories. From now on Ill have to hang with them at different times, and what is one of the hardest things, is hearing each of them talk about the other. Well, im not going to lie, I havn't heard anything from Scotty, its all coming from Jane, and it hurts me and I want to try to support her, but this is a situation where I can't pick a side and I never will. I love them both, and nothing will change that. I just really really wish things can go back to the way things were. But I have a feeling they wont. The message of my ranting blog, which I hope you can understand cuz im just typing none stop here with just whats on my mind, is that treasure the time you have with your friends, because you never know when things will change, and then things will never be the same way again. You can try your hardest to fix the issues, but in the end, it wont be good enough.
Jane and Scotty are still the two most important people in my life, along side with a few others, and they have made a great impact on my life and I love them. They probably wont fully understand all the things they have done for me. It looks like our adventures will be split, and I have to have separate adventures for them both, and I know it wont always be easy, but thats just the way, at the moment, it seems like its going to be. I will always keep my fingers crossed that we will once again become the three best friends that anyone can have, but for now, that is now just a memory... And im going to stop typing now, because if not things will just keep going. God, I even starting to tear up a little bit from just writing this...... but, I think I feel a little better now that I have typed this to get it out of my head, so I just don't sit there and stare at the computer screen and think about this stuff and I can get back into my normal mood. Not that many people will read this anyway because Im not posting on facebook that I have a new blog post, and most people wouldn't check this blog unless I said I had a new post.
For those who know me, and have followed the major details of my life, you will know that I have a handful of friends I consider my best friends, close enough to be family, and they are a major impact on my life, even if they don't realize it. Some live far away, and others live right here in the same city as me. Out of my handful of best friends, there were two of them that I consider the two most important people in my life. Jane and Scotty. We had become friends back in our sophomore year of high school, and in the past 5 years, our friendships have grown to a point to were it seems that nothing can split the three of us apart. We had been through a lot together, and that created an unbreakable bond between us. We considered ourselves the three best friends that anyone could ever have (Yes we got that from The Hangover part 1) We would hang out all the time, even if there was nothing to do. We would plan trips, go places together and have a great time. It seemed the world was perfect whenever the three of us was together, and that nothing could break the three of u apart. This summer, I had learned that you should cherish every moment you have with your friends, for things might not be the same in the future.
I believe it was January of this year (After our Amboy Adventure--see earlier posts), I had learned that Scotty and Jane had gotten into a relationship. There were a few feelings that might happen, but I truly had no warning to the news. As a good friend, I supported them, and in a way I was happy for them both. (Of course, I was a little upset with them that they didn't tell me in person, and that I learned through facebook that they were together.) I do admit it was awkward for awhile getting used to them being a couple, but after while, I got a hang of it. At the beginning, I was fearful that the three of us would be gone, and it would just be the two of them with me on the side, but later on it proved that mostly everything had stayed the same. The three of us wouldn't hang out as much, and the adventures seemed to slow down to a few. As time went on, drama in their relationship began to happen, and I would be in the middle of it. Now I expected that to happen, speaking from experience, and I was prepared for it. Most of everything that has been happening all the way up to the end of April I was prepared for.
For year's Scotty has told me about his families place at the Parker Strip of the Colorado River (aka the river) and his family had invited Jane and I to join them for Scotty's stepdad's, Ed, Bday party. We went at the end of April. We got there and things were very nice out there. I enjoyed being out in the desert, and a break from the normal way of life. I had brought a tent to the river, and originally I thought the three of us were going to share it. There has been a little bit of drama, so I decided to sleep outside under the stars while they had the tent. I didn't really have a problem with that, but it was just one of those things that popped up in my head to were I knew at times it would no longer be the three of us, and I would just be on the side. In the middle of the trip, I got emotional a little bit at night. I have to admit that I even cried myself to sleep one night. For those who know me, it takes a lot for me to even cry just a little. The last time i cried before this was the day Scotty left for boot camp back in Dec. of 2007. There were really two reasons why I had cried. The first, everyone my age at the river was with someone they cared for, you know, boy friend/girl friend. I was the only person there who didn't have anyone. Yes I did have a girl friend but she wasn't there. Normally that type of thing wouldn't have bugged me, because we were the three best friends, but it effected me a lot, because at night, it would be Jane and Scotty, while I just was alone outside with no one to talk to or chill with. In the end, I felt along every night while at the river, and there were a few times during the day too, but not much. Each night, I wouldn't be able to sleep. I would fall asleep as the sun was rising, and that would give me an hour or two before it got hot, and everyone else was awake. I have to say I had a good time at the river, but just what is above is what went down that had some effect on me. Also expressed to a few people of a insecurity I had about myself, which didn't help in my emotional state that one night, but that's another story.
Things seemed to go down hill from the river trip. Their relationship would continue to have more problems and I would be caught up in between. Mostly Jane would be over at my house talking to me every night while Scotty tended to keep things hidden inside him. Through this time I barely got to hang out with Scotty, and each time I was with Jane it was mainly issues. At this time, I worked my hardest to try to help improve things, so they can be more happy and things would get back to almost normal, but things never did. I was up in Davis, CA, for the 2011 State Field Day. I was in the hotel room on Sat. night with my gf Sarah, my dad, and sister, resting after a very long day running a photography contest, and making plans for a day trip to San Francisco (you will read in my next blog post soon) when I got I believe a text from Jane saying she was single. Then she called, and I spent 30 mins to an hour just on the line while Jane was crying and telling me what happened. I had to end the call because Sarah and I needed to go to bed, and we were tired from the long day. I knew from that point, that things would never be the same, and once again, couldn't sleep that night, not until I was so exhausted I passed out.
After I got home, I hung out with Jane, and expected it to be that way for while because she tends to get emotional after these things. One night, Scotty had asked if he can borrow my camera lens, he came over while Jane and I were hanging. He wanted to say hi to Jane, but I knew that wouldn't have been a good out come so I told him it wasn't a good idea. Since then, I have been stuck in the middle, and there is no more the three of us. I have to hang out with them separately. With it being the summer time, when im home from my travels, I really want to be with my friends and have our adventures of our own, but its not that easy any more since we arn't the three best friends that anyone could have. I have a camping trip coming up to the eastern Sierras, with my friend Emily, and I know thats a part of the state neither Scotty or Jane had really been too much. I really really badly want them to be there with me and Emily, but that isn't going to happen. I have offered Scotty the choice to go, which I hope he goes because I don't get to see him much anymore.
Two of the most important people of my life, were we used to do almost everything together for the past five years, are now split and not talking to each other, and I have to be one of the most effected people from the outcome of this, and now caught in between. I MISS the THREE OF US. Last summer was amazing, and we did so many awesome things, and I was hoping this summer would be just the same but it hasn't. I am hoping, that they will talk to each other again, and that things can hopefully come back to how it used to be, were we are the three best friends that anyone could have, but the way things are going, it looks like that day might not ever come, and all the great things we have ever done together will just me memories. From now on Ill have to hang with them at different times, and what is one of the hardest things, is hearing each of them talk about the other. Well, im not going to lie, I havn't heard anything from Scotty, its all coming from Jane, and it hurts me and I want to try to support her, but this is a situation where I can't pick a side and I never will. I love them both, and nothing will change that. I just really really wish things can go back to the way things were. But I have a feeling they wont. The message of my ranting blog, which I hope you can understand cuz im just typing none stop here with just whats on my mind, is that treasure the time you have with your friends, because you never know when things will change, and then things will never be the same way again. You can try your hardest to fix the issues, but in the end, it wont be good enough.
Jane and Scotty are still the two most important people in my life, along side with a few others, and they have made a great impact on my life and I love them. They probably wont fully understand all the things they have done for me. It looks like our adventures will be split, and I have to have separate adventures for them both, and I know it wont always be easy, but thats just the way, at the moment, it seems like its going to be. I will always keep my fingers crossed that we will once again become the three best friends that anyone can have, but for now, that is now just a memory... And im going to stop typing now, because if not things will just keep going. God, I even starting to tear up a little bit from just writing this...... but, I think I feel a little better now that I have typed this to get it out of my head, so I just don't sit there and stare at the computer screen and think about this stuff and I can get back into my normal mood. Not that many people will read this anyway because Im not posting on facebook that I have a new blog post, and most people wouldn't check this blog unless I said I had a new post.
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